dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
