and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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