what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
