dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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