I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
