i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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