Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
