Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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