Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
