i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
