I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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