She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
