She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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