worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
