a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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