The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
