quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
