Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
