The best revenge is premature balding
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My life is pants optional.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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