My balls are so social today.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
