I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
