He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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