I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you made out with another girl for some wings
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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