my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
