I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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