Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
