How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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