I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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