Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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