IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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