She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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