Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
