3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
