From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
