I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize