she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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