Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
