there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
