Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
