I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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