Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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