Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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