Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Pooping to opera.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
