I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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