How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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