found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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