I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
