mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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