I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
