I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
