I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
