the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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