She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
