i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
