i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
A+ Viking dick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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