I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
