for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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