Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I didn't notice because vodka
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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